


Crashing the Annual Avengers Picnic

by Abhorsen44



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 12:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7360660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abhorsen44/pseuds/Abhorsen44
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade and Peter decide to crash the Annual Avengers Picnic. Hi-jinks ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crashing the Annual Avengers Picnic

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of short, but I wanted to write something today and I've been reading a LOT of this pair!

“Harder! Fuck, harder Wade!” Peter cried, gritting his teeth, his muscles straining. 

“Baby-boy, I am trying over here,” Wade grunted back. There was a squelching noise as both of them tensed and Wade let out a series of rhythmic grunts. Peter moaned as they crossed the line, the rope pulling taught before the tension eased. 

“We win!” Wade shouted, holding up their end of the rope triumphantly. Peter and Wade were covered in mud, but not quite as badly as Clint and Natasha, the current losers of Avengers Tug-of-War. Tony Stark was staring at them, looking like he had just vomited in his mouth a little bit, and Steve Rogers was very determinedly glaring at the sky and blushing. 

“I thought Deadpool wasn’t an Avenger, why do we let him play in our sandbox again?” Clint, one-half of the former Avengers Tug of War Champions, asked. 

“Because you’re an asshole.” Natasha said sweetly, flicking her muddy hair in such a way as to spray Clint in the face, “and he dared you.” “We would have won if they hadn’t started making revolting sex noises!” “You are such a child!” The disgusted losers made faces at each other as they picked their way across the course and towards the pool, throwing insults and the occasional projectile at each other. 

The annual Avengers Picnic (“Teambuilding!” Steve beamed proudly) had this year, with addition of Spiderman and Deadpool, turned into some weird kind of ninja superhero Olympics. Races, weightlifting, swinging (“Really, who can swing the highest? That’s so dumb, Deadpool.” “You only say that because YOU KNOW I’LL BEAT YOU!” “You’re on!” “HAHAHAHA”), horseshoes, and tug-of-war.

Deadpool was currently smearing mud into the one clean place on Peter’s face. Peter beamed happily and punched Deadpool in the shoulder. “What next, Spidey?” 

“We should probably get some of this mud off and change clothes?” Peter replied, trying in vain to scrape some of the mud out of his hair. 

“But this is my only suit!” Wade exclaimed in mock horror.

“Oooh, underwear party!” Peter replied, steering both of them towards the house. 

“Unless you brought extras and are willing to share – not that I don’t want to get into your pants, mind you, shut up White that’s totally romantic! I –“

“Wade! We’ve talked about this! Commando plus Deadpool suit equals chaffing. Ugh. Fine, just change into your swim trunks.”

“.”

“Wade.”

“Whoops.” Wade grinned happily. 

“I’d say you just walk around naked, but then they wouldn’t let you into the pool and we HAVE to win at chicken. Dammit, Wade!”

“I have an idea, Petey-pie,” Wade said as he slung a muddy arm over Peter’s shoulder. 

\----

Peter admitted that in retrospect it probably would have been better to give fair warning to the rest of the Avengers before he and Wade made a running dive towards the pool, Wade clad only in a polymer spider-web thong. 

“Cannon ball!” 

“Holy fuck!” shouted Clint, frantically dog-paddling towards the shallow end. Natasha, who had been lazily floating on a blow-up raft, was suddenly and inexplicably on the other side of the pool on a lounger, looking annoyed yet dry. Tony started retching dramatically in the corner, but that could have been due to the eighth mojito of the morning. 

Peter surfaced and looked around for Wade, ignoring the fleeing Avengers. Wade was happily trying to do underwater splits, surfacing briefly to shout, “Babe! Join me! Synchronized swimming is the new lacrosse! CHECK OUT MY SIDE FISHTAIL!” before bobbing under the water again. Peter grinned until his cheeks hurt. It had taken Wade a long time to be comfortable being without his mask with the team, and now he was cavorting around mostly naked and doing underwater splits. 

It would be a pain to get the polymer off later, Peter knew, but Confident Wade was worth it. Besides, he had been wanting to try out his new solvent and it’s not like Wade was going to object to Peter fondling his junk for an hour, even if it did hurt like a bitch. 

Wade surfaced, shouting, “SPIDEY! THROW ME!” and Peter used his super strength to fling Wade as high as possible. The splash was satisfying, especially when Tony yelped. 

“Spiderman, methinks the Man of Iron is a-feared of becoming damp,” Wade burbled, mouth half underwater. 

“Indeed, Pool of Deadliness, hence the lack of swimming attire and his womanly exclamations of surprise. Do you ever not wear a suit, man? I bet you have Captain America jammies.” 

“Fuck you, scared of water, I may have waterproofed the arc reactor but -hello- paranoia, anxiety disorder, not to mention PTSD AND WATERBOARDING. Assholes,” Tony snarked back.

“Ooh, ooh, me too! I’ve totally been water-boarded! Do you want to see me drown?!!” Deadpool shouted back, with an immediate reply of, “NO!” from everyone except Clint, who started chanting, “Do it, do it, do it!” until Peter webbed his mouth shut. 

 

They did win at chicken, but only because Steve gave up on trying not to be embarrassed and scurried away to help with lunch.


End file.
